It's...bad. Shaky limbs, tight muscles, pale skin, not good breathing, bad. And all my normal techniques aren't working right now. Meditation, stretching...it's not helping. (I even tried singing!) I'm still bad, and I've run out of ideas.
Work certainly doesn't help; I should be doing work stuff as I write this, but am putting it off because eliminating stress is to me more important. The only problem is...well, it's not working. In fact, the more I write, meditate, sing, and whatnot...the worse I am beginning to feel.
I just...need to take a metaphorical deep breath (I tried a literal one to no avail) and relax...but my body doesn't know how.
Yep. Erratic heartbeat. Tightness in the chest. Paler skin. Unusual breathing. Shaky limbs. Preeeeeetty sure that's a bad case of stress. Eating, drinking, and now officially writing added to the list of, "should work, but isn't" for things to counter it.
And I think I know why, now. There was one event that triggered the stress, yet it merely served as a catalyst for unleashing a horde of unpleasant stressful things I've kept pent up inside of me, reigning their negativity down on me once unlocked. And no matter how hard I try, they keep assaulting my mind, distracting me.
I'm in a self-inflicted hell, trapped with no apparent way out. I'm trying to find something to focus on, but it's not working. And that's bad...REALLY bad. Because my mind is going to incredibly unpleasant places I want to get away from desperately. You can't see it, but even the writing I'm doing is crazier. I'm always a messy writer, but this is much worse than normal. I'm praying for someone to save me, because I've run out of ideas to help myself.
(Footnote: Solution was Dancing With The Stars, with a side of playing games.)