So the site I play mafia on is currently down. This is a little inconvenient, since I was about to do some work on there. (I was not going to play games on there. That's something I do later at night. Other work, not playing-games work.) There's a backup shelter I can spend time on, so I have a choice: spend time bonding with fellow members on there, or use the time for something productive.
Now, tonight, I don't have Tae Kwon Do. That means, I have the whole day to myself. And I think that this might be a little bit of a cosmic coincidence. So...what am I going to do? I...well, the thought of bonding with others is nice, and it's not something I get to do often, but...I actually...really think that this is the universe's way of saying, "get to work, girl", so I don't want to waste it.
I really hate that I have to choose which path to walk in times like this. What I'd love is if I could bond with them, while drawing, and while writing. All three are important to me, after all. But it's physically impossible to do so much as two at the same time, yet alone, all three.
Ultimately, I'm weighing several things when making my choice, but they all tip the same direction. For a start, I sort-of bonded with a bunch of people on Saturday, when I admitted how stupidly weak I was. In my weakness, others came to me, and from that, I feel I grew a bit closer to the community. In contrast, it's been at least a month since I've done any truly productive work.
Then, there's what I've just been blogging about. I want to make my dreams a reality, and for me to do that, I actually have to work hard for them. If I'm not doing any work on them at all...then I'm not going to get them to become real. Keeping people in my close circle is part of my dream, sure, but as I mention above, in a sense, I am still doing that, on a near-daily basis.
So while I'll lose the unique opportunity to bond with some of the peculiar perks of the people around me on there, and that does make me sad, what I gain is a chance to work on my dream at its core level. And honestly, given the timing of my blog post, and the timing of this downage, I really do think it's the universe sending me a message. (Which means, by proxy, I'm telling the members of that site they can blame the downage on me!)
It's going to give me regrets no matter which path I choose. I know this. But I want to keep making my dreams a reality. So I'm going to fight for them. And for the members of that site who read this (probably about 80% of my readership, at minimum)...I do apologize that I'm making this choice. It's...not an easy one to make. It's not even the "right" choice to make, but I don't think any of my options are.
That's one of the downsides of life. Yet I will try and make this experience be worth it. I promise I'll try to give it my all.
Now, tonight, I don't have Tae Kwon Do. That means, I have the whole day to myself. And I think that this might be a little bit of a cosmic coincidence. So...what am I going to do? I...well, the thought of bonding with others is nice, and it's not something I get to do often, but...I actually...really think that this is the universe's way of saying, "get to work, girl", so I don't want to waste it.
I really hate that I have to choose which path to walk in times like this. What I'd love is if I could bond with them, while drawing, and while writing. All three are important to me, after all. But it's physically impossible to do so much as two at the same time, yet alone, all three.
Ultimately, I'm weighing several things when making my choice, but they all tip the same direction. For a start, I sort-of bonded with a bunch of people on Saturday, when I admitted how stupidly weak I was. In my weakness, others came to me, and from that, I feel I grew a bit closer to the community. In contrast, it's been at least a month since I've done any truly productive work.
Then, there's what I've just been blogging about. I want to make my dreams a reality, and for me to do that, I actually have to work hard for them. If I'm not doing any work on them at all...then I'm not going to get them to become real. Keeping people in my close circle is part of my dream, sure, but as I mention above, in a sense, I am still doing that, on a near-daily basis.
So while I'll lose the unique opportunity to bond with some of the peculiar perks of the people around me on there, and that does make me sad, what I gain is a chance to work on my dream at its core level. And honestly, given the timing of my blog post, and the timing of this downage, I really do think it's the universe sending me a message. (Which means, by proxy, I'm telling the members of that site they can blame the downage on me!)
It's going to give me regrets no matter which path I choose. I know this. But I want to keep making my dreams a reality. So I'm going to fight for them. And for the members of that site who read this (probably about 80% of my readership, at minimum)...I do apologize that I'm making this choice. It's...not an easy one to make. It's not even the "right" choice to make, but I don't think any of my options are.
That's one of the downsides of life. Yet I will try and make this experience be worth it. I promise I'll try to give it my all.
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