It's important exposition, fundamental to the plot, containing foreshadowing and callbacks, but it's just not working right for me. It's just...ahg! I can't explain without showing it to you, which I really shouldn't be doing. (It'd also be very, very large.) But basically, while the intro seems fine, the third person piece seems like it's just info-dumping. (Which, well, technically, it is, but I want the writing to be solid enough to disguise that, and...right now, I don't think it is.)
And I want to display so many things that are meant to augment each other but which currently just feel like the contradict each other and/or transition awkwardly. Basically, I want to show the backstory of the world. I want to also explain a few of the key differences between humanity and téanity (the name of the other species in the story, essentially an offshoot of humanity many, many, many hundreds of thousands or even millions of years ago), how they're pretty similar, but distinctly different...biologically and culturally, with an importance placed on the cultural differences in them.
I want this to come from a figure that's meant to be a wise mentor. Yet I also want to portray him as not being a perfect human being. Cool, yes. Awesome for what little his part may be, yes. But I want his philosophy, while leading into the main character's philosophy, to not be perfect, for him to be flawed.
...And I want to also display the main character's flaws in the first person portions, yet how they're slowly (slowly! Not all of a sudden!) coming to their current philosophy which kicks off the majority of the plot. I'm trying to keep said first person narration realistic, too, at least realistic to the levels as can be expected of a person semi-lucid dreaming about memories, can be. (Hey, that might not seem too plausible, but...I've had nights like that. Where I was remembering the past, in my dreams, and retained some ability to think. Still was asleep, but I had that ability to think.)
It's requiring a lot of skill, precise, tight writing, and I don't think I'm getting it, much to my absolute frustration. I'm a good writer. I'm a darn good writer. I usually am overly-humble about these things, even self-depreciative, insisting that I suck, insisting that I'm not too good, but writing is basically the one. One. Thing where I tell myself. "No. You don't suck. You ARE good." It's the ONE THING I allow myself to have that absolute pride in.
So I know I can do it. I know I have the skill within me to write something that captures all of it. But I'm really, really frustrated right now, because I'm close to getting it yet not quite there. I'm not at the level of writing I should be at. Now, I know I'll never get things perfect. That's why I'm on chapter two and not still on the prologue. I'm done with that. Not going to touch it. Not going to rewrite it again, it's as good as I can do.
...But the current chapter, Chapter Two? Isn't. I can do better than this.