I want to be able to bring happiness to others. I want them to see me, understand me, but first and foremost, I want to be able to have them smile, to make them feel good. Haru's example is an inspiration to me, on how I want to live my own life, and increasingly, I'm being filled with that energy.
I want to share with others the happiness I have had. I don't want to hide my emotions. I will always have moments of sadness. I will sometimes face emotions such as anger. I don't want to suppress them. But I don't want my life to be defined by them. I want to be happy, not simply because it's something everyone deserves, but because in my happiness, I want others to be happy. I want to have others be inspired by my example, to try and live their lives to the fullest as well.
So I want to share my dreams with the world around me. My dream, ever since I was a teenager, has been to share with the world the wonderful ideas I have in my head. It has manifested in different forms throughout the years, be it art, attempts at making games, music, or most prominently, writing, but that desire, that passion, has always been there, even now.
I know the road I've chosen to walk down is not an easy one. There will be hard times. Even in the best of moments, there will be times where I will still be suffering. And in the worst of moments, it may even seem I cannot get by. I may not have the strongest of support groups, so there will be times I feel lonely and isolated.
...But I am not going to give up. I am determined to make my dreams reality. I want to touch others. I want them to feel what I have felt. I want them to have their wounds be healed as they simply experience what I have given them. I want to be that force, that can make them experience all the emotions they should experience, from the sad to the glad, to feel it and know it.
So I am going to continue on with my life. I am determined. I know that my strength will waver. It always does, readers of my blog saw how low it got on Saturday, and that will happen again. But never will I fully let it conquer me. I will find a way to continue on. I will work hard. I will fight. And eventually...I am confident I will succeed.
It might not sound like I have things worked out. And it's true. I don't have my life planned out, not nearly as much as would be ideal. But I don't think this is a bad thing. Because with it, I can live in the moment, be it a good one or a bad one, and have the richest, fullest experience on my life. Not dwelling on the past. Not obsessed with the future. Just trying, one step at a time, to make my dream come true.
I think that's the best way to live my life. And that's what I'm going to do. I'll show the world my writing. It will be tough, but I know, from the bottom of my heart...I can do this. And I think that everyone who knows me well enough knows the same thing: it can be done.
So without further ado, I'm concluding this blog post. I've got a few morning errands (well, afternoon; I started this at about 3 PM) to attend to, but then I'm buckling down on a couple of projects I want to work on.