But, thankfully, today is more trivial. Like, yeah. I'm a big dummy dum who screws up constantly, but these ones are, all things considered, fairly harmless.
I am a dummy for having not completed trainings at work.
I am a dummy for not communicating with my boss more strongly.
I am a dummy for having not done mafia things I was meant to do literally last week.
I am a dummy for having not helped clean up our apartment with my fiance.
I am a dummy for letting my fiance oversleep for a nap.
I am a dummy for waking them up anyway.
I am a dummy for having spent my time today doing some meaningless gaming rather than connecting with people, or ideally, setting up things.
I wanted to get my blog mirror on wix up to date.
I wanted to set up all the socials. Instagram, Threads, figuring out a way to get Tumblr working, etc. I'm already well-established with what I've got, from twitch to twitter to youtube to tiktok to facebook, but not nearly as many as I should.
I am being all kinds of dummy dum dum today...
...But it's okay.
I will survive.
I'm trying to enjoy life with my fiance, and I don't want to miss out on it by living in the past with my mistakes.
I make mistakes, most of them dumb, but those dumb dummy mistakes are some of the things which lead to highlights I wouldn't have gotten to do half of what I have done without having done those dumb things. So like...I'm doing the best I can.
It's something I will kick myself over, but most of these small mistakes are things which are best to move on from and remember that good came from it.
The worst of my mistakes, I won't be able to ever brush off. I won't be able to ever shake them off. I won't be able to ever forgive myself or forget about my wrongdoing. But, those mistakes don't define me. My mistakes aren't all of me. I am a mess, to be sure, but I am a beautiful mess and I know I make an impact. That impact has hurt before, but it also does so much good.
I am very sad, I am very remorseful, but my pain is not all to my life. I hope I can still make bigger waves of good.
Only time will tell.
Sorry I'm rambling, I don't have real thoughts.
But, hey, that's me I guess. No real thoughts, just existing and trying to do my best. Often failing, but still getting back up to try again, better than before.