The good news is, I'm feeling better than I have been.
I think I'm recovering from the severe bipolar week.
And I do mean literally bipolar week. When most people use that term they usually mean it as some form of joke or a descriptor of a rollercoaster week which is ups and downs.
But no, I mean quite literally, bipolar week, in that my bipolar disorder has been out of control. I started the week basically tossing 1k away through various purchases. A good deal was to charity; I can't really be upset. Some was to support a friend. Also not a bad thing. Yet when I was recently in a car crash, dealing with the financial expenses there and I had already spent on an impulse spending spree $400 of clothes...not great to spend more, even for a good cause.
And then the severe depression hit. A pain so severe it was physical. It wasn't thoughts. Thoughts I could counter.
When there's depressive thoughts, I can reason my way out of them.
When there's events going on in life triggering a bad mindset, I can address it.
When it's a feeling of intense overwhelming all-consuming sadness, all I could do was fight to keep my life.
And...I think I'm stabilizing, for both extremes, back to the more healthy middle.
The bad news is, I'm still out of time. I work tomorrow. I work on the holiday on Monday. I don't have the time to do anything I should be doing.
I've not showered.
I've not brushed my teeth.
I've not changed my clothes.
I've only barely done mafia, torn, kongregate dailies, league/tft stuff, discord, and staying on top of emails.
But so much I need to do, I haven't.
I've a training due before the end of the month--haven't done it.
I've GOT to pursue getting the passport--haven't done it.
I've gotta check on my health insurance--haven't done it.
That's just the list of real life things which have deadlines that I can remember off the top of my head. There's more.
And I'm not really doing any of them.
I ran out of time.
So like.
I'm staying afloat, but if I don't keep in mind the things I haven't done which are important to get done, I'll collapse again.
I survived.
Now I gotta get back into doing things.
Heck, I've been gone from ComicFury for nearly a month now.
And I haven't done any of the writing I've wanted. (I've done some behind-the-scenes stuff, but barely any.)
There's so much in life I want to live--I just need to live it.
I think I'm recovering from the severe bipolar week.
And I do mean literally bipolar week. When most people use that term they usually mean it as some form of joke or a descriptor of a rollercoaster week which is ups and downs.
But no, I mean quite literally, bipolar week, in that my bipolar disorder has been out of control. I started the week basically tossing 1k away through various purchases. A good deal was to charity; I can't really be upset. Some was to support a friend. Also not a bad thing. Yet when I was recently in a car crash, dealing with the financial expenses there and I had already spent on an impulse spending spree $400 of clothes...not great to spend more, even for a good cause.
And then the severe depression hit. A pain so severe it was physical. It wasn't thoughts. Thoughts I could counter.
When there's depressive thoughts, I can reason my way out of them.
When there's events going on in life triggering a bad mindset, I can address it.
When it's a feeling of intense overwhelming all-consuming sadness, all I could do was fight to keep my life.
And...I think I'm stabilizing, for both extremes, back to the more healthy middle.
The bad news is, I'm still out of time. I work tomorrow. I work on the holiday on Monday. I don't have the time to do anything I should be doing.
I've not showered.
I've not brushed my teeth.
I've not changed my clothes.
I've only barely done mafia, torn, kongregate dailies, league/tft stuff, discord, and staying on top of emails.
But so much I need to do, I haven't.
I've a training due before the end of the month--haven't done it.
I've GOT to pursue getting the passport--haven't done it.
I've gotta check on my health insurance--haven't done it.
That's just the list of real life things which have deadlines that I can remember off the top of my head. There's more.
And I'm not really doing any of them.
I ran out of time.
So like.
I'm staying afloat, but if I don't keep in mind the things I haven't done which are important to get done, I'll collapse again.
I survived.
Now I gotta get back into doing things.
Heck, I've been gone from ComicFury for nearly a month now.
And I haven't done any of the writing I've wanted. (I've done some behind-the-scenes stuff, but barely any.)
There's so much in life I want to live--I just need to live it.
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