There was a song. A song I made. Nothing already existing. Brand new material, a song that I had made. And I knew it was me who had made it, not someone else. A 100%, completely original, production of mine. And it was AWESOME. I could hear the lyrics, both the chorus and the verse, and all the supporting instruments. It had a female lead singer--me, as a woman--and a male backup singer. It had percussion supporting it, and bells, and one or two guitars as well.
The song was best described as being alternative, with a little pop and mainly rock in it. It even had a music video playing; the song I believe had to do with either building or toppling walls (I can't remember, but lean towards the latter given the fire I also saw in the video), and the band was playing the song; I even saw the bandmates aside from myself, albeit only glimpsing them. That's right. Start to finish, in a nap, I managed to lucid dream-write an entire music video, from the lyrics to the song to the imagery.
...And yet, the second I had perfected it, it instantly began to slip away. I cried out, "No! Don't go! Let me at least remember some fraction of it so that I can record it! Please don't go!" But the more I tried to hold onto the song, the more it slipped away. I wasn't even half-way done with my nap, and the entire song had slipped away, vanishing and disappearing, likely forever. I can give the vaguest of descriptions of what it was, yet not a single note, not a single word, remains in my mind.
It all just...disappeared. Which was...well, rather saddening, to say the least. If I had a way to describe it, I'd loosely say in the same vein as "the best song ever written...a tribute", in that it was a moment of genius, so good, so perfect, that it was basically the peak of what's possible, and anything I could hope to create would only serve to be my attempt to pay tribute to that achievement, that passing flame.
...But I see this as a good thing, in a way. Why? Because it shows that I had the talent, at least in theory, to pull it off. This wasn't a case of a dream that sounded like a good idea and then when awake the idea doesn't make sense; this was a dream that WAS a good idea but is buried away in my subconscious somewhere, still, with the potential to be brought out. In other words, it's giving me something to stride towards, something to strive for. I'm better than I think I am, and if I choose to, then I could actually make good music--perhaps never achieving that standard, but setting a high bar anyway.
On a somewhat-related note, the square dancing club I attend on Wednesday nights voted on a theme tonight. There were many options available, but my sister designed some really, really fancy ones, the Phoenix-themed one by far outclassing every other outfit there. The designs were absolutely beautiful, to the point where others said they'd love to wear it and I made it quite vocal that I'd like that sort of fancy clothing.
...But we only had five eligible people for voting, all of whom are young (emphasis "young") teenagers. So what did they end up picking? Nerds. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. Fortunately, this isn't the club I actually compete with, so I don't have to wear the outfit. Thing is, though, had they picked a good one, then I would have supported the club and gotten it anyway, but with that decision, well, I made my displeasure rather strongly known.
I swear, the decision for a nerd outfit over a much more elegant design (there were more than just the thematically-appropriate and aesthetically-awesome Phoenix, too!) is the type of thing that in their boots would seem to me to be something that's like, "I enjoyed it at the time, but oh, god, what the hell was I thinking?" ten years later. Yeah, that type of thing. Which they're entitled to having, of course, it's just that I don't have to like the choice.
But I digress. The point is, it got a conversation going with my sister. (Older sister, just for clarity.) She reconfirmed that I had a taste in fancy, elegant clothing, and that I'd probably wear it if I had it available. (And I would.) She then went on to note how that'd mean that my clothing would be similar to hers, and that left me feeling a bit happy.
In a way, it makes me feel closer to being Rain with Kellen as my older sister. (Though my older brother is nine months younger than my older sister, they're effectively in the same agegroup, having the same circle of friends and basically the same culture, so there's even that parallel, too.) In a lot of ways, I look up to my older sister as an idle, striving to be more like her. She has absolutely no clue to what extent this truly is, but it's there, all the same.
I love how long and beautiful her hair is, even envying it. I like her aesthetic choice, in clothing, in jewelry, everything. It's really what I would wear if I had the ability right now to wear it. And I do suppose that musically-speaking, she's a bit of an inspiration to me. On that note (ha), though, an additional highlight from our conversation was how she talked about a student who heard her playing a song of hers, and the student said it deserved to be published and famous.
Frankly, with what I've heard of her music, I agree. I asked her if she's ever considered it, and she said she has, but doesn't know how. I strongly encouraged her to do some research, and basically said that it's probably a more complex version of getting a novel published: difficult to get done, but possible all the same.
Speaking of which, she misheard me initially and thought I said 'album', which she thought made no sense about me publishing. I surprised her by telling her what any long-term reader (or archive binger) of my comic would know, that actually, I do compose music in my mind (even having done so this day, as previously mentioned), but I lack the formal training to bring it to life. She said I could always use her piano to figure out the notes, and show her, and she'd write it down, so that's something that may happen sometime.
All-in-all, very good day for creativity. My spirits are fairly high.