All Too Human
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Rambles, Rants, and Musings

Yep, definitely depressed again.

3/31/2015

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I'm in one of those situations where my dreams are so blissful that I don't want to wake up. Seriously, every night as of late (and even during naps!), I go to sleep, have some trouble getting into sleep, but once I drift into sleep, it's so heavenly that when I wake up from my dream, there's a feeling of confusion and even despair, that the dream is gone, not real. And yet, with the exception of the astronaut dream during a nap (long story), I don't remember any of them. I just know that what I'm seeing in there must be real enough to be like Inception: it's as if the dreams I'm entering are my reality, and this is the dream.

It was particularly potent today because I was very bitter. I was supposed to be going to college today, but because my work schedule doesn't change until next week and I couldn't get a sub, I couldn't attend, and had to work. Which will put me massively behind, especially if history repeats for day two this Thursday. The only good thing to come of it was a partially-finished pseudosong (it's lyrical, but I'm not sure it actually fits to music; there's a tune, so it's not just speaking, but it's...odd), yet that's so incomplete and just the 'chorus' so I can't show it, either.

I mainly just sat in a sort of meditative state the entire time, trying not to let the bitterness leave anger in me even though it visibly was leaving a lack of enthusiasm. I worked today without the radio, and I think that was actually therapeutic; the silence and relatively calm day allowed me to just sit there and drift, something that is healthy to do from time to time.

Anyway, not much for me to say. The plan for tonight is mainly for me to write out in, say, a word doc the prologue, page by page, of my magical girl story. I do have a fairly entertaining way of going about it, I think, which will make it rather enjoyable. (Some nonlinear storytelling will be used.)
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    rBree2

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